A couple of weeks ago, London (as well as other major cities around the world) saw a spectacular sight as hundreds of strangers gathered to do battle with pillows. I went with several friends to Trafalgar Square, where beneath the gaze of the lions, several British dignitaries, and that cool new horse skeleton they put up, we joined in with the crowd whacking each other mercilessly with pillows. And I really do mean mercilessly – people went hard, and they went for head shots. My friends and I ourselves took a somewhat unsporting approach to the fight by choosing victims who seemed to be alone to gang up on four-to-one. It sounds bad, but since we were all girls on the shorter side, it really was the only practical way to make our mark during the fight.
Our success rate was fairly decent, and we got several people to admit defeat and proclaim us the victors. This especially happened when they realized they were outnumbered, and that we didn’t believe in holding back. On one notable occasion I knocked a pillow out of someone’s hand, and before he could pick it up again I grabbed it for myself. For a while after that I fought with two pillows, usually using one as a shield, and became even more unstoppable.
Being short did have its disadvantages though. Tall people have a much easier time reaching your head, and some of the boys in the crowd hit hard enough to make a pillow hurt. One of our friends was even worried afterwards she had suffered a concussion (don’t worry, she didn’t). And the tall people weren’t the only hazard, as there were children in the crowd who fought dirty as well, particularly one little boy whose pillow was inexplicably wet, which is really not the kind of thing that is supposed to happen in a pillow fight. Once water is involved, something has gone wrong.
After about an hour we decided that we had done enough damage and made our way to safety. On the way out, we ran into a girl desperately trying to buy a pillow off anyone, as seeing as back in my flat I have about five pillows for one reason or another (I didn’t buy any of them, they just gravitate towards me) I found this to be a great opportunity to make a couple pounds, and of course help the mighty fight to continue. After that, we watched the feathers fly t from a safe seat, and generally felt a sense of pride in the weird things human beings like to do.